Woke up at 3 a.m. and can’t fall back asleep? A calm routine

Waking up is part of sleep

Sleep isn’t one unbroken line. Even healthy people wake up briefly several times a night. In the sleep lab, younger and older adults alike fell back asleep within ten minutes after four out of five nighttime awakenings. Older adults woke up more often, but they didn’t have a harder time falling back asleep.¹

Time awake does go up with age. Among 100 healthy sleepers, people 30 and under spent about 6 percent of the night awake after first falling asleep; people over 60, about 15 percent.² You forget most short awakenings: in one study, people only remembered wake-ups that lasted longer than about four minutes on average.³

You’re far from alone. In a phone survey of nearly 9,000 adults in Texas, New York, and California, about a third said they woke up at least three nights a week.⁴

Why 3 a.m., of all times?

There’s no evidence that a particular hour means something specific. There’s a simpler explanation: if you go to bed early, by 3 or 4 a.m. you may already have slept seven to eight hours. That’s how Germany’s sleep medicine society (DGSM) describes it for older adults. In healthy people over 70, it adds, nighttime sleep can be interrupted by up to two hours awake. What matters is how you feel during the day.⁵

A routine for the middle of the night

What sleep medicine societies generally recommend fits into four steps:

1. Leave the clock alone. At night, the time only adds pressure.
2. Breathe calmly, with your exhale a little longer than your inhale. Slow, not deep.
3. If you notice you’ve been wide awake for a while, get up for a bit. Low light, something quiet, no screens.
4. Go back to bed only once you feel sleepy again.

Play again

Skip the clock. In one experiment, people were told to keep an eye on a clock while trying to fall asleep. They worried more and took longer to fall asleep than the others, and that held for good sleepers too.⁶ Germany’s sleep medicine society explicitly advises against checking your alarm clock at night.⁷

Get up if you’ve been awake for a while. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine says: if you don’t fall asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed and do something quiet without a lot of light, and especially don’t get on electronics.⁸ The German society adds: do something monotonous and relaxing, and only lie back down once you’re truly tired.⁷ Since you’re not checking the clock, just estimate the time roughly.

Can a breathing exercise help you fall back asleep?

Honest answer: nobody has studied that yet. I didn’t find a single study testing breathing exercises for falling back asleep in the middle of the night in healthy people. The closest is a study of 64 healthy young adults: those who breathed slowly for 15 minutes before bed for 30 evenings rated their sleep quality slightly better afterward than a comparison group that used social media during that time.⁹ In another study, daily breathing exercises over a month didn’t change measured sleep at all.¹⁰ These studies tested the technique, not the nowa app.

So breathing isn’t a sleeping pill. But a calm exercise can do something else: give your mind one simple task instead of the clock, the phone, and racing thoughts. Breathe slowly and gently, with a slightly longer exhale. Try the pacer during the day. At night, count along in your head with your eyes closed.

One minute, very quietly

In for 3, out for 6

Breathe along

When your thoughts won’t stop

Rumination keeps you up. In one study, 70 people gave a speech in front of an evaluating panel in the afternoon. Those who kept thinking about it afterward took longer to fall asleep that night.¹¹ A sleep lab experiment hints at what can help with unfinished tasks on your mind: people who spent five minutes writing a specific to-do list before bed fell asleep after about 16 minutes on average. Those who wrote about what they’d already done took about 25.¹² That was tested at bedtime, not in the middle of the night. Still, a notepad by the bed can’t hurt.

What about your phone?

Whether a quick look at your phone at night makes it harder to fall back asleep hasn’t been studied. What is known is that lots of light over a long time has an effect: after four hours of reading on a light-emitting e-reader, young adults fell asleep almost ten minutes later on average than after reading a printed book.¹³ The iPhone’s Night Shift mode didn’t improve sleep in a study of 167 college students.¹⁴ My honest answer: better not, especially not to scroll or check the time. Sleep experts advise against screens and clocks at night anyway.^{8, 7}

Common questions

Is it normal to wake up every night?

Yes. Healthy adults wake up briefly several times a night and usually fall back asleep within minutes. It happens more often with age.^{1, 2}

Why do I remember some awakenings and not others?

Short awakenings are usually forgotten. In one study, the cutoff was a little over four minutes on average, with big differences between people.³

Should I check the clock to see how long I’ve been awake?

Better not. Estimate roughly. In an experiment, watching the clock led to more worry and taking longer to fall asleep.⁶

How long should I stay in bed before getting up?

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine says about 20 minutes; the German society simply says “if you’ve been lying awake for a while.”^{8, 7} The exact number doesn’t matter. If you notice you’re wide awake and getting frustrated, get up.

Which breathing exercise works at night?

A gentle one with a slightly longer exhale and no long holds, like in for 3 and out for 6. Slow doesn’t mean deep: even six breaths a minute led to mild overbreathing on average in the lab.¹⁶ If you feel dizzy, just breathe normally. For more evening exercises, see breathing exercises for sleep.

Can a breathing technique put me to sleep in 60 seconds?

There’s no study showing that, not for 4-7-8 breathing and not for the so-called military method. Promises with a stopwatch attached aren’t serious. What’s actually known about 4-7-8 is in the article on 4-7-8 breathing.